One message that deeply stayed with me from this course is the power of “how” we praise. Praise sounds simple, but the wrong kind of itcan damage a child’s motivation without us even realizing it. In the “True Grit” video, researchers explained that praising children for being “smart,” “talented,” or “naturally gifted” often leads to fear of failure (True Grit, Can You Teach Children Character?, 2023). Children begin avoiding hard things because messing up could erase the label they were given.
But effort-based praise has the opposite effect. When parents say, “You worked so hard on that,” the child learns that improvement is in their hands. This builds what researchers call “grit”, passion and perseverance toward long-term goals.
This concept aligns with NEPEM’s “Expectations” and “Empowering” categories. Children become more willing to try again because they see mistakes as part of learning, not proof that they are “not smart enough.”
Praising effort is not about ignoring outcomes, rather it’s about recognizing the process that builds them.
References:
True grit, can you teach children character? (2023, October 7). [Video]. NBC News. https://www.nbcnews.com/video/true-grit-can-you-teach-children-character-44432451969
