Emotion Coaching: Helping Children Feel Seen
Children don’t come to us with the ability to manage big feelings. They learn emotional management by watching the adults who guide them. Emotion coaching is one of the strongest tools a parent can use to nurture connection, teach empathy, and help children feel safe expressing their inner world. This principle changed the way I see parenting. Instead of rushing to fix the problem or silence the behavior, emotion coaching invites us to slow down and see what the child is truly experiencing.
In the “Parenting with Emotion Coaching” video, Dr. John Gottman teaches that when a child has an emotional moment, parents should first “notice the feeling”, then “name it”, and finally “guide the child through it” (Kimochis Kate (KimochisMe), 2012). This simple shift prevents shame and gives the child language for what they feel. For instance: “You’re frustrated because your tower fell. That makes sense. Let’s breathe and rebuild it together.”
This approach aligns beautifully with NEPEM’s “Nurturing” and “Empathizing” structures. It helps parents model calmness and respect. Over time, children become more emotionally aware and confident, not because we rescued them, but because we walked beside them through the storm.
References:
Kimochis Kate (KimochisMe). (2012, April 18). Dr. John Gottman & Dr. Julie Gottman Discuss Tools for Parenting with Emotion Coaching [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3uPPEtyX_I
